It's all thanks to this guy. ------------>
Jason Heyward can convert matter to energy with no heat loss and then get laid. In the same night.
Jason Heyward can hit a five-run home run.
Jason Heyward knows what you're thinking about. Right now. And he accepts that.
Just before the butterfly was about to flap its wings and start a tsunami on the other side of the world, Jason Heyward killed it with his bat.
Jason Heyward beat Deep Blue in chess during a rain delay. Then, between innings, Phil Hellmuth and Phil Ivey in poker.
Jason Heyward knows something you don't know. Jason Heyward isn't left-handed.